Yetta's Wedding
by Figgie125
Summary: A fictional account of the OTHER wedding we were waiting for with a surprise ending!


Yetta's Wedding

(A fictional account of the

OTHER wedding we were all waiting for…

with a surprise ending!)

By Figgie125

**Scene one: Interior of living room**

_Friends and family have gathered in the beautifully decorated living room. The Minister is pacing, people are fidgeting. Max and Fran are wringing their hands_

**Fran** Oh, where could they be? They _both_ can't be late for their own wedding! What if something has happened to them…?

**Max** (to Sylvia) Has there been any word from the home?

**Sylvia** The home said they both checked out of their room last night and nobody has heard from them since.

**Max** (to Brighton and Maggie) Check the local hospitals, children. Start asking around; see if you can come up with anything.

**Grace** Daddy? What should I do?

**Max **Well, sweetheart, there is a lot of anxiety in the room right now, perhaps you could—

**Grace** Offer my emotional support to promote well being and feelings of contentment. That, I can handle!

**Max** No, my sweet. Just entertain them.

**Fran** Oh Ma, poor Yetta, disappearing on the happiest day of – (Niles taps Fran on the shoulder, stifles a yawn, and whispers something in her ear. Fran, eyes widening, mouth forming an O, bolts up the stairs.) "SCUSE ME!

**Scene two: Interior of guest bedroom **

_Yetta and Sammy are asleep in each other's arms with grins from ear to ear._

**Fran** (nudging Yetta) Psst, Yetta, YETTA! Wake up…

**Yetta** (slowly awakening and becoming annoyed) What IS it! I didn't order room service!

**Fran **Yetta, you have some major explaining, young—uh I mean, Grandma, You have a house full of people waiting for the bride and groom.

**Yetta** We got married already, we're on our honeymoon!

**Fran**: No, Yetta, the wedding is today! The honeymoon starts tonight!

**Yetta** (Wide-eyed and smiling) It does? (Nudging Sammy) Sammy, wake up, we gotta do the book over again…

**Fran** The book? What book?

**Yetta** (Handing Fran a tattered book) Niles gave me this wonderful book for the engagement party and we're up to page 303.

**Fran** OY! The Karma Sutra – large print! Yetta, the book's got 304 pages (Fran holds up the book and all of the pages fall out. Fran examines the broken binding) I don't even wanna know….

**Sammy** (Stirs in his sleep) my Yiddish mama, let's do page 38 again…. Reaches for Yetta for a big hug…

**Fran** (pulling Yetta back to her) Yetta! What are we going to tell all these people downstairs? Oh no, what are we gonna tell MA?

**Scene three: Interior- Living room **

**Minister** Samuel Gumble, do you take this woman, Yetta Rosenberg to be your wife? To love, honor and cherish all the days of your life?

**Max** (reaches over to takes Fran's hands is his, Traces his finger over the top if her hand and whispers) That will be us someday, Miss Fine—er Fran.

**Fran** (to herself) At the rate we're going, we'll be that same age…

**Sammy** Oh yeahhhhh!

**Minister** Yetta, now it's your turn.

**Yetta** (leaning in to the minister) But I don't have to go right now. I went before we came down.

**Minster**, No, no, I mean it's time for you to say your vows.

**Yetta** I did that already too!

**Fran** (stepping in to help the minister) He said vows, Yetta, not WOWS!

**Sammy **and **Yetta** (in unison) WOOOOOWS!

**Fran** Oy, oversexed at 83, I should be so lucky…

**Niles** (leaning his head on CC's shoulder and closes his eyes) I just want to shut my eyes for a bit.

**CC** (annoyed) What is it with you? You've been yawning all day! (Wickedly smiling)Were you up all night cleaning the palace for the Royal Ball, Cinderella?

**Niles** I was kept awake by sounds of passion and thumping—Oh never mind. It would be like describing Beethoven and Bach to a deaf person!

**Minister** By the power vested in me (lowers his voice) by the state of insanity (raises his voice to a normal tone) I now pronounce Samuel and Yetta husband and wife! You may kiss the bride!

_All stand up and cheer! Max and Fran embrace and the embrace lingers just a little more that it should have. They gaze at each other lovingly until Sylvia interrupts_

**Sylvia **Can we eat now?

**Yetta** No! You can wait. You won't waste away anytime soon… I wanna throw the bouquet. I'm allergic to the flowers.

**Sylvia **(loudly) Hey, all single _loos_-I mean ladies, get ready for the throwing of the bouquet! (A small group of ladies gather round and slowly begin to overtake Yetta) MA! THROW THE BOUQUET! For God' sake! NOW!

_Yetta throws the bouquet up in the air and it lands right in Fran's hands only to be yanked away by Cousin Rachel, a very rotund woman. Rachel holds the bouquet in one hand on her hip as if daring Fran to come and take and take it away, Fran begins to take off her jewelry and prepares for "battle" when Max intervenes._

**Max** Now, now ladies, let's be good sports about this. (To Fran) Miss Fine, please. Let her have it. It's not worth--

**Fran** (Pushing him away) You betcha! I'm gonna let her have it REAL good!

**Cousin Rachel** Bring it on…

**Niles** (yelling while ringing a bell) Let's get ready to ruuuummmmmble! (clears his throat and says softly) Food's on (quicky gets out of the way!)

_The Fine family clears out in a hurry all headed for the dining room leaving Max and Fran disheveled and Fran holding half a flower._

**Fran **Niles sure learned how to get the Fine family's attention… (Fixing herself up and struggling to her feet)

**Max** (lovingly) Miss Fine, surely you don't believe all that nonsense about catching the bouquet. It's no guarantee that who catches it will be married next. Surely you underst—

**Fran **Mr. Sheffield, the throwing of the bouquet is like an Olympic event in my family. It may not mean much to you, but I believe that 'she who catches it, is the next to throw it' and now, Cousin Rachel, Flushing's answer to Jabba the Hut, is going to get married before me!

**Max **Well, I'm very glad you didn't keep the bouquet. Because now you have your hands free to hold this (He pulls a little box from his pocket, opens it, and places its content on Fran's finger.

**Fran** (realizing Max's proposal) so you mean? Can it be true? You mean…. (now yelling so she can be heard in the next room) .I"M GOING TO THROW IT NEXT! Ya hear that Rachel! Keep the stinking flowers! (softly to Max) Oh Max, I love you so much!

**Max** (embracing Fran) It is I who loves you so much. Come on; let's go tell the others the happy news.

_As if on cue the others file back into the room holding two cakes. One says "Congratulations Samuel and Yetta" and the other says "Fran, Will you marry me?"_

**Fran** (to Max) You had this all planned! (to all in the room) _All_ of you were in on it too? (She begins to weep tears of joy.) Max, Yes….I'll marry you!

_Max and Fran embrace and kiss with everyone cheering around them!_

**Yetta** (to Samuel) I love weddings. Do you ever think of getting married again?

_Niles and CC look to the heavens and sigh!_

THE END!

© 2005 Fiorella deLima


End file.
